Baton Twirling: My Lost Love

I've been having fun lately. A LOT of fun.

This isn't supposed to be a "shocking" statement by any means, but it's also no secret I've been a little extra sensitive lately. Captain Stress Pants, if you will.

My last few articles have had a recurring theme: Anxiety is Trending. And I'd like it to stop.

My husband is the most worry-free, anti-stress dude I know. This is one of the reasons we pair together so nicely. Sometimes it can be difficult to explain why I get stressed over normally stressful things and not-so normally stressful things.

Typically, my anxiety does not reach a level where I feel I cannot "manage" it. Some non-medication things I do that give me peace are:

• prayer

• exercise

• eating (relatively) balanced diet

• quiet time

• talking it out

Lately, my stress-levels have escalated to a whole new discomfort. I felt out of control and useless.

Can't say I was a fan.

Enter: baton twirling.

Hahaha, I know! Most of you are like - I'm sorry, what? What even is that?

I'm talking this:

When I was a kid, I played two sports: softball and baton twirling. Being blatantly honest, I was not a stand-out star at either, but I loved them both dearly. For me, it was not really about the competition or the games, but the practice. I loved to practice.

I truly enjoyed the repetition of trying a skill over and over again, training the body to adapt to new movements and habits. I loved being with my teammates. We had a unique bond simply from our shared time together in athletics. And my coaches! I was blessed with the best coaches.

Baton was unique because you could get lost in your routines -- just you and the baton, tossing, catching, spinning -- pushing yourself until your muscles were exhausted. I loved it!

I was 12 when I was diagnosed with epilepsy, and it was a very long road to getting my seizures under control. It's not just about the right medication. It's about knowing your triggers, and treating your whole body properly. When your body is growing and going through tons of hormonal changes, this is a very tough thing to manage.

Throw in a tragedy like a parent's death, and I had a strong deck of cards against me. The thing I loved became a source of frustration. I'd go into practice pretty much knowing I'd have some sort of epileptic episode -- myoclonic jerks, absent seizures, tonic clonic seizures. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and scared.

I still remember the day I quit. I acted like it didn't bother me that much, that I was a teen just ready to stop seizing. But I was incredibly sad.

Fast-forward almost 19 years later, and COVID-19 has set a trend among my baton teammates. They are posting videos of themselves dusting off the sticks, and showing the world they still have it!

Watching these videos brought back so many great memories. Could I still do any tricks? I have been a controlled epileptic for over 10 years now. Would this make a difference?

I visited my mom for a Mother's Day celebration, and snagged my old bag. When I got home, I tried a few tosses and it felt extremely bizarre, to say the least.

I was awkward, I was slow, and oh yes - I AM OLD. My body, friends! It's more of a twist, than a twirl nowadays. There was some bend and snap going on. But not in the awkward-haha-Reese-Witherspoon way. More like the awkward-those-were-ligaments way.

But the love is still there.

It's still so much fun! Trying to gain the rhythm, the control. The repetition of the tricks. The success of catching anything! It's exciting and so much fun.

And what an amazing form of therapy! It's a different type of exercise, and it's truly doing wonders for the dreaded anxiety.

My boys have been joining in on the fun, too. They of course have other ideas for how the batons can be used. Thankfully, none of those ideas involves weaponry. Yet.

At this point, I don't know if any of my children will have the interest in sports their parents do. The older two have each tried a sport, but my 3-year-old is too young to determine interest and my 6-year-old seems more involved in making friends than practicing or playing.

I do hope for it. Not because I am a sports fanatic that wants to push it on my kids, but because I'm all for the positives:

• learning a new skill

• understanding the importance of teamwork

• mental and physical challenges

• developing a heart that shows good sportsmanship

Right now, I'm enjoying my childhood sport again and so are my kids. If you have something you loved as a child, but haven't done in a long time (baseball, running, puzzles, drawing, etc.), I am challenging you to try it again. Who knows? You may ignite the fire of a lost love.

#childhoodsports #familytime #baton #batontwilring #epilepsy #sports #anxiety #blog #blogpost #momlife