Park Blunders

First post jitters! Look out, folks. It's the first post. Rather than do the whole introductory blahblahblah about who I am and what to expect -- let's just jump into it. :)

Amos, my two-year-old, is learning to ride a bike. This is an exciting time, and also a time requiring additional patience. Today, we tested out his wheels twice at two separate parks. By the time we did the second park, Momma's patience was a little strained.

Let me first shout a praise for the fabulous job my kid is doing learning this skill. Amos is probably too big for Levi's (my six-year-old) older bike -- his legs are long and he has yeti feet that stick out awkwardly on the pedals. But still! Amos continues with that start/stop motion and the begging to be pushed "just a little" thing us parents are so familiar with from new bike riders.

When we were at Park #2, Levi and Amos were both tracking on their bikes. Or they were trying. Levi was in some kind of mood, and he too kept doing the start/stop thing. On the third time he stopped, I asked him what was wrong.

Levi just deadpanned me, "My bike is crazy."

I checked his tires, the chain, etc. Everything was good. It took us ten minutes to travel ten yards. In my head I was being encouraging, but I'm sure it came out sounding like, "JUST PEDAL THE BIKE AND MOVE FORWARD!"

Amos had the grand idea of abandoning the park trail, and going straight to the slides. Absolutely. Yes. Fantastic idea.

Fast forward an eternity later --> Because the boys were not willing to actually abandon the idea of not riding their bikes to the slides, which meant we were still stop/starting and asking for pushes the whole way there. This also gave Wyatt (my one-year-old) and opportunity to get fussy.

Levi and Amos blasted off for the slides, and I had an opportunity to get Wyatt out of his stroller. The boys were playing for maybe three to five minutes, when Levi had his incident on the slide. He came swooshing down on his knees, popped up to his legs just in time for landing, and almost laughed. Levi's happy face instantly turned to panic.

Levi said to me very hushed, "I just pooped my pants."

I made sure to whisper back, "Oh no, that's ok. It's ok because accidents happen." Then I said more loudly, "We better get going then. Amos, let's get going."

I suppose Levi felt I did not understand the severity of the situation, or perhaps it was his moment of panic. He screamed, "I JUST POOPED MY PANTS! I - POOPED - MY - PANTS!"

I thought, What is happening right now??

"Levi, you don't have to scream. I understand. We will go home now. If you scream, other people will know."

Levi looked surprised and guilty. I felt really bad about letting him in on the secret that people hear screams. I told him to go stand by his bike while I get Amos. Amos took that opportunity to do what every two-year-old does in an unfortunate situation: run away.

Amos ran away laughing, and my already thin patience bar disappeared. I pulled the counting card ("If you aren't here by '3'..."), which he laughed at harder and went to the top of the jungle gym. Great! That was my end-card and I used it first. Not smart.

Levi used this opportunity to randomly scream again, "I POOPED MY PANTS! IT'S EVERYWHERE! AMOS WE HAVE TO GO!"

I snapped Wyatt back in the stroller, and managed to grab Amos off a slide. Amos writhed and kicked into my side, as I struggled to push that ridiculous pop-up stroller toward my oldest. Too bad pop-up strollers already drive like they stole every bad wheel off shopping carts.

Just a day in the life, folks. Just a day in the life. Now I'm going to look up some patience scriptures and call it a night. #parenting #patience #accidentshappen